May 28, 2013 11:16 PMOkay, folks. It's like this. We don't have a diagnosis from Cleveland yet, we're still waiting on more tests and follow-ups and results and we are also looking into getting other opinions from various professionals just to gather all the perspective and idea we possibly can. HOWEVER, even though we are delving yet further into the non-diagnosis chronicles I have to share something awesome that happened this morning.
Memorial Day weekend in WV was mostly good. The weekend and events themselves were all good, I only specify "mostly" because there were periods when I didn't necessarily feel well but was able to take a step back, rest, and still manage to enjoy the days we spent at the farm (which went by way too quickly!). So while the weekend was not without bad moments, health-wise, the good times we had outweighed the not-so-good health moments so I'm counting the weekend as a W. :-)
But today. Something truly awesome happened this morning. And I can't really describe it adequately on here, typing from my phone, at 10:55pm, but just know this--it was truly awesome.
My entire life I have been a fan of singing in the shower. There have definitely been periods where the songs I've chosen for any particular shower time jam session held no real significance or importance. There have also been more times than I want to admit (or rather, more times than I could actually sit down and count) that I've given my very best (and very loud) renditions of "Part of Your World" (from The Little Mermaid) as well as POYW reprises 1&2. However the past few years, I've almost consistently only sung hymns, contemporary Christian songs, etc., and I have to think this is because those songs are impossible for me to sing without feeling uplifted.
Which I only mention to illustrate how much of a sense of defeat I have felt on all but 3 or 4 days since January when I've taken a deep breath, prepared to sing [hymn/praise song X], only to realize I either an too lightheaded or just don't have enough strength to even form the words with my mouth, much less say them aloud, much less sing them emphatically, much less sing them emphatically AND in tune, and I think this goes without saying but much, much less when you try to combine any of the above actions with remembering lyrics.
So this morning when pandora came on and Nichole Nordeman stated singing an old favorite of mine from her Woven & Spun CD, and when I was able to sing along with that, with a second song (I Stand Amazed In The Presence [of Jesus the Nazarene]), and end singing How Deep The Father's Love For Us in the most moving (and tearful/prayerful way possible), I was, indeed, amazed in the presence of The Lord. And yes, that's a huge understatement!
And just to add to his awesomeness, the text I saw on my phone was from Brenda Ross, the daily bible verse text that brightens each morning for me, and I kid you not today's verse was Psalm 59:16. And it reads:
"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."
I literally laughed and told God that I heard Him loud and clear and that it's ridiculous that something so seemingly simple was such a profoundly positive sign to me, but also that I know He kind of operates in the ridiculous on the regular. (Think: Job, Noah, Abraham, and well, Jesus)