So, today is the Thursday of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2011, and if I may say so, my last NEDAW as a Centre College student has been tremendously successful!! I anticipate the rest of the week to be successful, too....we only have one more day of our info table at lunch, but in lieu of the 5K we had for a couple of years (not last year, but one and two years before that), our speaker (Cary Kemp Larson, who is actually a Centre grad) is leading a resilience workshop for two hours on Saturday morning. I anticipate it to be very informational and, well, fun....because she's a fun person. I can tell that from just today. :)
Anyway, if you would have asked me this time LAST week what my feelings were about the upcoming NEDAW (well, upcoming if it were last week, but current since it's THIS week), I would have told you, "I honestly don't feel as if I am in any state of mind where I should be in this position of leadership I am in as president of Centre BALANCE, the sponsoring campus organization for NEDAW." Reason being, last week was not the best week I've had, recovery-wise. I have EXCELLENT news, though.
I am rocking some serious RECOVERY SWAGGER right now. Last weekend, I had an incredible amount of support/encouragement given to me by the person I love the most (Rog), and that support is what jump started me back on the right path. Honestly, I can say that I FEEL more in control of my recovery now....something that, a week ago, I would have said was impossible. Above ALL, though, I want to make sure that THE ONE who deserves ALL the credit receives it. See below.
I have told more than one person this over the course of the past few days, but I honestly would not be in recovery at all right now if it weren't for GOD. Seriously, while it's excellent to have Rog support me (and don't get me wrong, I'm definitely NOT discounting the support and understanding Rog gives me....I feel so incredibly blessed to have him in my life....and it IS largely due to his support/insistence that I was able to get back on the right track), it's even cooler to know that I have THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD fighting for me. At times when I feel weak, not strong enough to fight my battles by myself, it's like I hear God whispering to me, "You don't have to do it alone. I am here. I am holding you. You are my precious child, and I will not let you fall." That is so AWESOME!!
I am also a firm believer that it is God who brought Rog into my life in the first place, and God who is the reason Rog and I are getting married in June. Consequently, I think God works THROUGH Rog to help empower me, and to help Rog know what to say to me to keep my focus where it needs to be (on Recovery, and on God) and not on the negative things (on Ed or on worldly things).
I feel like I'm rambling, plus I need to go to bed since I have an 8am class tomorrow and will be going to breakfast at 7 or 7:30, so I'll wrap this up.
So to close, I will just say one thing, as affirmation both to myself and to anyone else who may read this. To quote a favorite VeggieTales song: GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGEYMAN. Your personal boogeyman may not be Ed....it may be academic pressure, work stress, drug or alcohol addiction, or any number of personal demons....but I am writing so that you may REST ASSURED that GOD is bigger than ANY problems or trials you will EVER face. EVER. Period.
And I will close with a very uplifting, encouraging verse we should all meditate on daily:
He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.” (Isaiah 40:29)